I figure now’s as good a time as any to jot down strange pregnancy dreams so that I can cite them as reasons for insanity when my future offspring rolls his/her/its eyes at me and proclaims me crazy in the teenage years.

-Two days before I found out that I was pregnant, I dreamed that I was pregnant with twins and my partner insisted on naming them Balrok and No Name. He couldn’t understand why I’d ever refuse such lovely names, which lead to days of bickering and pouting on his part. I’m not looking forward to the real-life version of the dream conversation, as past name suggestions from him have included Zaphod and James Tiberius.

For those of you unfamiliar with Balrok and No Name, they’re hosts of a local late night horror show and they’re pretty fantastic.

-KITTENS! Yeah. I had a dream about kittens. Not JUST kittens though – they were cowboy kittens that lived on a kitten and iguana farm. Yes. A kitten and iguana farm. The iguanas? They had saddles. And the kittens rode them. How awesome is that?! Not as awesome: my creepy ex-boyfriend was a skeleton janitor on the kitten and iguana farm. There aren’t enough cowboy kittens in the world to make that ok.

-QUADS?! Seriously, pregnancy brain. First twins and now quads? You keep the multiples out of my uterus, k? You’re making me really nervous about my first ultrasound.